What should every man really own?

So as I have been bored today I came across "31 Things Every Man Should Own." (the red is my commentary)

#1 Cast-Iron Skillet
It's not a specialty kitchen item, which means you can cook almost anything in it. Because you never use soap on it, it'll enrich your eggs and burgers and grilled cheese and fish fillets and rib eyes with the earned flavors of a well-used grill. It's impossible to break and can go in the oven. And it will last longer than you.
Yeah, that's great and all, but can they at least show the full picture of it?

#2 Valid Passport
You can't even go to Canada anymore without one. Not having a passport is like not having money.
Who wants to go to Canada?

#3 Multipurpose Tool
It's not that it's better than any of the seventeen individual implements it contains. It's that its seventeen implements are good enough that you don't have to carry any of them individually.
Yeah, this would really come in handy.

#4 Waiter's Corkscrew/Bottle Opener/Knife
Corkscrews should not be expensive. Or require instruction manuals.
Real men can open a bottle by hand.

#5 Ax
Because you need something to make firewood out of the tree that fell across your driveway.
True, but once again, picture? At least center it.

#6 WD-40
If only for the door hinges. A man's house should involve no squeaking.
Why is it placed next to the money?

#7 Cordless Drill
Electric hand tools should be cordless. Eighteen volts — contractor grade — is all the power you'll ever need.
Yes, I agree, every man should have this tool.

#8 Weekend Shoulder Bag
Which should fit the following: a cotton blazer, jeans, khaki shorts, swim trunks, two T-shirts, a button-down, flip-flops, white sneakers, a leather belt, two pairs underwear, two pairs socks, one Dopp kit (as dictated by Esquire's Big Black Book Spring 2009).
This duffel bag will do no good if it is just sitting in the garage next to a basketball. Put it in the car.

#9 Giant Wool Blanket Never Removed from the Trunk of the Car
Because you could freeze to death without one. Also, it's good for a picnic.
If it is to never be removed from the car, why is it in the garage under the duffel bag next to the basketball?

#10 Chain Saw
Because you need something to prepare the tree for the ax.
I thought the tree "fell across your driveway."

#11 Work Gloves
Without a good pair of work gloves, you blister in five minutes of picking up an ax or a chain saw. You need two pairs: rubber-coated for winter, leather for summer.
Does it really need to be explained to a guy to have a pair of work gloves? Telling a guy to have work gloves is like telling a girl she needs a bra.

#12 Carpenter's Level
Because with a small one, you can level a picture. With this one, you can level a deck.
Indeed, a large level is needed.

#13 Boots for the Shop
Sneakers are not for the garage.
A man must have his boots.

#14 Boots for Everywhere Else
These are custom-fitted to your feet, so you won't go through two weeks of blistering and one week of healing before they're comfortable. And they're guaranteed for life, so you'll never buy another pair again.
Once again, a man must have his boots.

#15 Jack
Cars come with inferior jacks. You need a better one.
Not if you buy a BMW . . .

#16 Claw Hammer
Because gravity. A good heavy hammer changes everything.
Just don't be drunk when you use a hammer. Then gravity will really mess with you.

#17 Lantern
An electric lantern makes your campsite look cold. This one makes it look warm.
A campfire makes the campsite look warm.

#18 Chef's Knife
With a good kitchen knife, you're holding something heavy and well-balanced. The food yields to it. Cooking becomes a craft, not a chore.
Why is the knife that cuts the food we eat in the garage next to the ax that cuts firewood from the tree that fell across the driveway?

#19 Flying Disc
This isn't the flimsy, feathery Frisbee you played with as a kid. It's the flying disc sanctioned by the Ultimate Players Association for its championship series.
Only if you have a dog!

#20 U.S. Road Atlas
The man who only uses a GPS is half a man.
What's the other half?

#21 Air Pump
No electric model has improved on the ease or reliability of a well-built, hand-powered floor pump. And you can't take an electric one tubing on the river.
Get some muscles before you get one of these. You'll need them to pump something up.

#22 Jumper Cables
Not so much for you but for the stranger stuck in the parking lot.
Once again, why are these in the garage when they should be in the car?

#23 Charcoal Grill
Gas grills are nice. We like the gas grill. But the metal kettle is crucial. Not because charcoal makes food taste better than a gas grill (it probably does, a little) but because with a charcoal grill you can smoke things. And smoking things can kill two, three, four hours. Hours of drinking and basting. Beautiful.
Why is it next to the car and not on the deck you leveled with your carpenter's level?

#24 Card Holder
To be placed in the breast pocket of your jacket.
Who needs a card holder when you have a wallet?

#25 Pocket Knife
One with a two-and-a-half-inch blade: big enough for most jobs, small enough not to weigh you down.
This isn't needed if you own the multipurpose tool.

#26 Grease
None of that silicone-based, high-tech synthetic goop. Something made of dinosaurs. Something that smells like God's garage.
Turquoise? A man owns something bright turquoise?

#27 Lucky Charm
Because it gives the comfort of faith to the faithless — like when you really need the chain saw to start.
I highly doubt that lucky charm will keep anyone safe. Try using the ax or chef's knife.

#28 hidden $1,000
Because $500 is too little and $2,000 is too much.
If it is hidden, how is anyone going to find it? Oh yeah, it's next to the WD-40.

#29 LED flashlight
LED flashlights are blindingly bright, shockproof, and, maybe best of all, run for a hundred hours on four AA batteries, which is at least seventy more hours than an incandescent bulb.
This really would come in handy.

#30 a money clip
To be placed in the front pocket of your pants. Cartier Double C, $120; cartier.com
Who would pay $120 for a money clip? The clip will hold the money you just used to pay for it.

#31 a cookbook
It's the Old Testament of cookbooks. Low on bombast. Heavy on information. Lots of lists. It begat all others. And if you want to cook it, it's in there, including possum.
Men don't need a cookbook. Put a piece of meat on the charcoal grill and you will have your full course meal within 15 minutes.

(I copied and pasted material from MSN's "31 Things Every Man Should Own")


I decided to simplify the list and came up with 3 Things Every Man Really Should Have

#1 Wife.

#2 Big Truck.

#3 Gun.

enough said.