Unexpected Feeling

A few weeks ago I was taking some images around my house test-driving a Contax 645 camera (medium format film camera).

I had only 16 images to take so I was running around trying to make compositions in the house. I figured that if I was test-driving the camera I should probably photograph that which I will be photographing for work: people. So I stopped my mom as she was on her iPad, told her to look at me with a soft smile as I got the focus and lighting.

I've never photographed my mom like that before. I've taken her picture while on vacation or at a fun event, but I had never photographed her.

I ended up doing 3 images of her (because I failed to count and she blinked the first two times) and each time there was a distinct feeling there that I still can't put into words.

It felt as if...

It's seriously difficult to grab suffice words, so just go with me on this...

As if I were meeting my mom for one of the first times ever in my life.

The feeling was an immense amount of love plus a connection of heart and personality. It felt like I was peeling back the layers to reveal the true woman she is.

Now, this was my mom; we know each others' personalities better than anyone. So why would I feel this? What layers have I not seen shed in our 22 years together?

No idea.

All I know is that when I viewed her through the camera, layers fell, and the wonderful woman my mom truly is was revealed.

I Chased the Sun

I want to write about an experience I had Saturday (Feb 21) morning.

I woke up at 8 and was so happy that is was raining, pouring rain! I love the rain so much, even when it's cold! I thought about all that I needed to do: homework, run errands, photograph Kayla's preference group, hurry back to go to Brian Regan, and... Hmm... I want to be in the rain.

I didn't care what I would do in the rain, and, to be honest, I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to be in it, I wanted to live this moment because I knew that if I didn't, I would regret it for weeks like I have in the past. I wanted to live that moment to the fullest and chase the sun even though I knew I wouldn't catch it.

So I hopped out of bed and grabbed some warm layers. As I went downstairs I ran into my mom, then dad, and later my brother. Each one asked what I was doing, to which I responded "going outside," and they each asked why.

Why.

Did I not have other obligations that would keep me busy? Of course I did, I have a constant "to-do" list that never seems to end.

Why.

Couldn't I have spent that time getting ready for the day and gotten some of my "to-do's" accomplished? Absolutely.

Why.

I'm sure that my family was just curious as to why I would want to be in the rain. I know they weren't asking these accusatory questions in their minds. (I just thought those questions would be the "average" person's thoughts.)

Why.

Why not?

I chased the sun. I the let cool water spatter onto my face. I spun in circles and felt the rain fall for me. I let my body fly in the air like a raindrop (thank you, trampoline). I didn't worry about what was happening in the chaotic world around me. I didn't worry about who was watching or who would care. I chased the sun. I stopped thinking, I stopped caring, I just was.

"Sometimes the trick to being yourself is to stop thinking about who that person is, and just to be." --Yan

If you ever get a moment to just be, take it. Live it. Chase the sun.

Grandma Soelberg

Hey, I photographed Grandma. But the film didn't develop well. So I'll be photographing her again. Until then, I posted some of the images on my photography blog. Click here or the link at the top-right of this blog.

Evening with the Cuzzes

Orange Leaf with the cousins! Love you guys!

Guess Who?

Guess who is public again... :)

To come:
Europe
yum yum yums
and maybe a little more yum.